By Penny F. at A Work in Progress.
The holidays can be a challenging time, for even the healthiest of families. Images of Norman Rockwell’s Christmas lead us to believe that the holidays should be the perfect picture of love and togetherness. And, while that may be true for some folks, it’s certainly not true for mine.
Memories of my father drinking way too much brandy and eggnog and blasting holiday music, my Mother, wrapping presents at the last minute on Christmas and even wrapping her own presents from my Father (that she had purchased for herself) created a chaos that I didn’t yet have words for. It would be years later that I learned it was alcoholism and codependence.
And then I became the alcoholic. Or, I would switch roles occasionally and was the dry drunk and a controlling codependent, attempting to recreate a perfect holiday experience that never existed. Either way, I could not bear to feel my feelings and be in the present moment, and I drove everyone crazy.